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Even if you’re good at making friends online, keeping them is a much more difficult endeavor. By this point in time, MMO’s have been played long enough to where almost everyone knows someone that opted to abandon his/her friends or forgo relationships in light of options that may appeal to his/her never-ending quest for glory and epics.
I will be the first to admit that in my years of playing, I have more or less up-and-abandoned both real life and “internet friends” to pursue a lucrative opportunity: a better guild; a new server; a different character class; or a more optimal play schedule. However, over the course of time I definitely felt the consequences of my actions. As I grew as a person and player, I came to value the people in the game more than anything, which for me has yielded a much more rewarding MMO experience.
However, this begs the question that a lot of people must answer, “What is more important in MMOs — friendship or fame?”
Assuming you are playing with a group of friends and have been for a little while, but decide to pursue other goals elsewhere, generally one of two situations will occur:
The Good
The Bad
Both of the above situations are completely reliant on how you go about leaving your friend(s), why you leave them, and just how good of friends you really are. As most of you can relate to, when you move about in the online world you gain and lose acquaintances at a fairly regular interval, but some you become more attached to and add real value to your online gaming experience. Thus the decision to leave your friends for (perhaps) greener raiding pastures becomes more difficult.
Speaking of raiding pastures, we are all familiar with how guilds can be polar opposites when it comes to their regard for people and the relationships formed in the game. Bloodrage did a nice job summing up a few of the different types of guilds, but overall the “friends and family” guilds favor the relationships the most while the “hardcore raiding” guilds are often referred to as “meat grinders,” bringing people in as fast as they remove them.
With all of this being said, as you play the game you need to consider what it is that you personally value about your online experience–the competition, the content, the people, or perhaps even both equally. Depending on your answer, you can situate yourself in a (hopefully) long term and stable playing environment.
As a caveat to those of us that recruit for guilds, you must pay particular attention to how your potential recruits feel about the game and their overall goals. If you are known for having few friends and a meat grinder guild, you obviously are not going to succeed at recruiting people locked into deep-seeded relationships with others. If you are a social butterfly but don’t take progression and raiding seriously, you are likely going to fail at attracting a player with little care for people, only content.
I would love to hear your thoughts and some stories that you have about you or your friends moving about and how it has affected your relationship with them.
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In most of my experiences with guilds I came for the raiding and stayed for the people, even to the determent of seeing all of the content. While I enjoy raiding and murdering everything possible, I’ve found it much better to enjoy whom I’m doing it with, not necessarily how much we’re able to do.
Granted, both is certainly achievable.
In the last 3 guilds (the majority of this expansion) I’ve been in, I joined partly because I already know someone(s) there. It is so much easier transitioning into a new guild when you already know another player. This system hasn’t failed me yet so I think I’ll stick with the friendships.
Just to add, I’ve been apart of guilds where all of the sudden half the players decide they want to be super competative on the raiding scene and decide a hardcore guild is their only option (Iconoclast). I don’t hold grudges for people wanting to push themselves and enjoy an opportunity they may not have again, but it is difficult finding the trust to play with them if you know they might quit or leave for “greener” pastures.
This is a little bit of a grey area because game friendships are very different than our flesh and blood friendships. They were created and bound by different circumstances, different environments and different rules. Because of the inherent disconnect we have with these gaming friends, having them not be flesh and blood and all, it’s much easier to move around from place to place without the guilt or obligation one might feel leaving the proximity of a local friend. MMO gaming is a social medium, however, so not being in the same guild as someone doesn’t mean the friendship or communication stops. In fact, battle.net implementation only makes keeping ties easier.
So with all that being said, at the end of the day, I’m playing this game for myself and I would think that at least 90% of the population is also. There is a certain level of play and style that I require to get what I want out of the game so that will always drive my decisions as to where I am doing what I’m doing. I wouldn’t necessarily use the word fame, perhaps fulfillment would be a better option. If I’m not meeting those needs, or cannot for some reason, I might as well not be playing.
The ideal situation is to find a guild or environment that sits in the cross section of a venn diagram between “friendships” and “goals”. If that option is available, I will always take it over any other situation that it as good or perhaps even a little better as long as I’m meeting my own needs.
Finally, if all the friends and contacts I had suddenly up and left the world of warcraft, I probably wouldn’t stop playing as a result as long as the game still had some interest left for me. I would simply move on and find another home that met my goals – it really wouldn’t be any different than playing an immersive console game that you play by yourself in the living room.
Why chose between the two?
Just like the real world, you’re allowed to pick who you’re friends with in World of Warcraft. The biggest mistake that an extremely ambitious person can make is to befriend someone that’s not on their level. Imperative had a hunter and holy paladin that I was friends with (the holy paladin IRL), and while I enjoy hanging out with the holy paladin a lot IRL, he’s simply not on the level that the rest of us are on.
One of the major factors that drives hardmode guilds to success it that they exploit friends in recruitment. Whenever Imperative needs to fill X class, the first reaction is to go ask everyone in the guild if they know anyone good that is X class. 99% of the time, those are the best recruits that we can possibly get. It’s no surprise that irnub is starting up that way. Regardless, however, the point is still the same: recruitment is a guild-wide effort.
Most people only become friends with those that are “on their level,” and if they don’t, they’re typically the frustrated guys who are carrying players in lesser-guilds. It’s almost the same in the real world: like it or not, most of your friends by age 30 are probably in a similar income bracket. If they’re not, odds are that you and them grew up in the same income bracket (and thus have similar tastes). No one wants to be friends with someone that can’t afford to go see a movie once a month. Even though most of us are willing to “deal with it” if we have a nice bond, the simple fact is that no one enjoys it. You want to be out go-cart racing or bowling, not playing Monopoly.
The same thing can be said in WoW: No one wants to go clear Ulduar for the 50th time. Even though some people are willing to “deal with it,” the simple fact is that you don’t enjoy it. You want to be killing heroic Lich King, not killing Lawlagalon with some stupid PuG’s.
And that’s the story of Epitome/irnub.
*Gathers around the campfire for storytime*
I personally have left guilds where I had great friends to pursue a higher level of raiding because that is my ultimate goal in the game. I really missed my friends but I feel in the end, it was the right decision. I was able to bring a friend with me and that probably made the difference during the tough initial transition.
I also agree that you should always play with a group of people who share your same mindset and goals in the game, but in turn they also need to be people that you can foster a relationship with. In the guild I am in currently, I have had friends join that would play casually in my guild. This became a tough balancing act as I spent almost all my time raiding. They probably felt alienated on some level and this led ultimately to them leaving. In turn it has lead me to discouraging real friends away because I knew they would probably be happier in a place where they were the norm.
I would also say that one of the main reasons for a new recruit to leave a guild is because they feel like they don’t have a connection with anyone they play with on a personal level. A person with a friend in the guild is much more likely to stick it out then someone who has none. Like all aspects of life, you current level of satisfaction is based on multiple factors instead of one specific reason.
I also don’t run around in circles for hours on my mounts while bullshitting in vent because I am a raider. I do that because of friendship.
The guy in the top hat is obviously pro imo.
Yeah, rock on for the riding mounts in circles while BSing in Vent, that’s quite possibly the best part of WoW.
I’m still partial to that drunk 10m game we did in Icono. Most fun I’ve ever had in naxx
“Just to add, I’ve been apart of guilds where all of the sudden half the players decide they want to be super competative on the raiding scene and decide a hardcore guild is their only option (Iconoclast). I don’t hold grudges for people wanting to push themselves and enjoy an opportunity they may not have again, but it is difficult finding the trust to play with them if you know they might quit or leave for “greener” pastures.” -Vuo
*Raises Hand* Guilty as charged!
Hoping that you guys don’t tell me to go pound sand just for posting here, but i’ve been reminiscing about the good ol times and found the site. A Lot of great articles on here. Contemplating a wow-comeback (haven’t played for a year and a half now) and its a pretty bitter self-argument. The times (and people) in Iconoclast were some of the best of my WoW career but i can’t help but wonder if i can stave off the evil progression ego monster. Can only hope to find a home with as many badass people as you all were if i do come back. Leaving Iconoclast was definitely the biggest buffoon moment of wotlk.
Hey Zerres, nice to see you and hope that you are doing well
You can find us on bleeding hollow with the irnub tag if you want to say hello.
Wow, greet blog ! Conversion Prophet Review