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I’m certain that everyone reading this has felt left out at some point in their gaming lives. It started when I started leveling my priest more than four years ago now and hasn’t stopped since. For me it has actually gotten worse.
As my husband says, “We’re on different levels of play. I’m more competitive than you.” How does anyone think that this amounts to a valid argument when someone feels left out – especially a significant other or spouse?
I am in a polygamous relationship. Krieg, myself, World of Warcraft, and Starcraft II are all shacked up in this house where Soviet Russia meets Utah, where the game plays and screws you.
There’s a “group session” going on and I’m not invited.
Compromise is Key
No play makes for a very sad girl, but I’ve come to realize something from this… my parents were right when they said that, “relationships change and you have to move with the flow or get washed up.” For any person in a relationship with a highly committed gamer this can feel like a whirlwind of pixilated chaos. As explained in some of my earlier articles, I started playing WoW in an effort to spend more time with my then boyfriend but failed miserably in the process. I still find myself trying to use the same tactic on my now husband and have met with some small success. A mixture of staunch persistence, understanding, and clemency are time-proven tools needed to get through the whirlwind.
An example of compromise:
Husband:
“Honey, there’s another GDKP run this week and I really want a trinket. Can I go?”Wife:
“Am I invited? I like gold too…”Husband:
“…no.”Wife:
“The trinket could easily drop in the GDKP group that we do together, how about we spend some time together instead?”Husband, with a defeated look:
“Okay.”
The gamer might be downtrodden but generally after a few compromises, in my experience, they start seeing the non-pixilated light.
This is my call to you, significant others and spouses of committed gamers, for many of you it has become obvious that they are not going to change. But, armed with persistence, understanding, and clemency you can get through the muck and mire together.
Now, for you gamers, since you seem to enjoy your polygamous lifestyle so much, it is up to you to compromise on a regular basis. Five days of gaming and half a night with your S.O. isn’t enough to stabilize the relationship. More time must be devoted to the non-pixelated world – either by cutting down on the number of hours each day or shaving off a day or more of the gaming week.
Be thoughtful in your actions and you won’t end up in the proverbial dog house like so many do!
Posted in Girl Gaming, Social
Tagged living with gamer, love, Raiding, relationships, world of warcraft
Written by orestia
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Read, do not want, she can play here game and I’ll play mine
dang it, she can play *her* game and I’ll play mine
LOL, so no compromise from you then Seth?
I play games as my release, it is my time for an ego boost, self-esteem boost, etc. If that release turns into a chore, it no longer has any benefit to myself. Sure it might be enjoyable for a little bit carrying the S.O. on my back and I know she will have fun, but eventually my back gets tired. And the longer she wants to be carried the more tired I get from it. What was enjoyable for both of us at first has now become a chore that is expected. I say stay in seperate games and not have to worry about hurt feelings if one of the people isn’t up to the same skill level as the other. Now from time to time it is fine, like you are saying, but I think if you want to share a game, than find a game that you can actually play together, sitting next to each other, like a console fight game, racing game, or FPS. Trying to play an MMO together, especially when the other person has a huge headstart is not fun for all parties as you clearly stated in your post. You forced your S.O. to sacrifice what would have been a fun, stressfree time for him, in order to have mandatory fun with you, doing somewhat the same thing, but not to his level later. You post an example of a compromise when instead, it was just you getting your way. Obviously, the S.O. in your post is whipped.
We started out not playing together for a little more than a year and then we played together for around 3. Now it’s a transition away from that. Change is rarely easy. **Compromise isn’t the same as sacrifice in this instance.** This is quite important to note.
So, now, you’ve made this personal. Ok….
“You forced your S.O. to sacrifice what would have been a fun, stressfree time for him, in order to have mandatory fun with you, doing somewhat the same thing, but not to his level later.”
When did this happen?
Not being whipped means, by your definition, that a self-described gaming addict should be allowed to play all the time and simultaneously somehow should be able to maintain a healthy human relationship. I’m afraid that it rarely works that way.
If you think that I, or any other significant other, should give up something that they clearly enjoy, just to enrich the gaming life of the other person, you’ve got the spirit of playtime and healthy relationships for that matter, all wrong.
damn I’m disappointed, I thought this article was you finding out krieg had a second wife and you fought the bitch
Resti I <3 you. After a good discussion with the Krieginator we came up with a solution but I have to wait until blizzcon before I can tell you just cuz I want to see your face when I say it
I end this argument with the following:
Seth, with a defeated look:
“Okay.”
Vuo, I thought originally she was going to talk about all of Krieg's homoerotic lovers that are the "guild". I was sadly dissappointed
Orestia keep it up with the blogs, I love reading them.
Luckily we don’t consider it cheating if it’s homosexual in nature
Seth, we have successfully compromised – I think where I’m at is fine for me! I trade goods for easy instancing… aka near to being carried but not fully
“Luckily we don’t consider it cheating if it’s homosexual in nature”
Probably the only reason why she hasn’t castrated me yet.
Haha, you trade “the goods” resti. I gotcha. LOL
This is both street smart and itnlielgent.
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