As most of you are well aware, no RPG guild goes unmarred when it comes to a new expansion. After all, expansions are the best time for players to switch characters, join other guilds, tell their GM they are an oppressive fucktard, or maybe even just quit the game altogether. While most people want their guild to survive, many guilds take great measures to drive people away in droves. The following are things your guild should do to ensure it DOESN’T survive:

1. Push Hardcore Progression

At the end of an expansion people have been hitting dungeons and raids hard for a long time. Players are burnt out and tired of doing the same content over and over. Be sure to keep the guild in a strict, progression-oriented mindset and don’t let them deviate to anything that may be relaxing or entertaining.

2. Don’t Allow Alts

If someone wishes to bring an alt to a raid to, “mix things up,” or “try a different role,” quickly reprimand them for not being considerate of the guild’s goals. The guild relies on each individual to perform in their current role. The last thing you want is tanks playing healers, or healers trying to DPS. Sure playing an alternate character may, “make content seems new again,” or “make an old dungeon fun,” but you’re guild is trying to accomplish things, not dick around with feeble nonsense.

3. Keep the Guild Environment Strict

There is a time for humor and debauchery–raid time is not it. Sure, there are a lot of guilds that play drinking games or tell stories or hold in-guild contests, but that detracts from progression your guild could be making. After all, raids are not meant to be fun, they are meant to be work!

4. Don’t Deviate From Your Schedule

Giving people time off to spend with friends and family, especially during the summer season, is unacceptable. Just because an expansion is coming out doesn’t mean there isn’t work to be done and just because it is nice outside doesn’t mean people aren’t supposed to sit in front of their computer for hours. Giving people a raid night off will only make them want to take advantage of your guild’s generosity. Crack that whip and get those peons to work!

5. Start a Lot of Unnecessary Drama

If there are sensitive issues in your guild that need discussing, the perfect time to publicly and aggressively grind them out is right before an expansion. Players that are burnt out and questioning their future plans don’t need to be tactfully approached–they need hard, fast, angry, and irrational interrogation. Also, be sure to find ways to exacerbate guild members’ fears by letting everyone know that shit is going down, whether it is or not.

Ultimately, GMs and Officers need to keep the mindset that a guild does not consist of friends that share experiences and relationships, but of simple workers that deserve no personal respect. Regardless of prior dedication and sacrifice, the players of the guild should be given no leniency when it comes to their contingencies, nor methods of stress-relief when they need it most. Sacrifice the weak to the war machine and let there be only pure, ruthless, excellence!

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